Hello everyone. I want to warn you now, I am slightly intoxicated therefore some of these sentences may not make a lot of sense. Please forgive me now; perhaps I will be able to clarify things for you if you should need it in the morning.
Ok, so what do I need to tell you, I am done with my final. I totally did not do well.
I have other stuff to tell you but I think it will have to wait until tomorrow. I don’t know why the hell I even started this.
| 22:33 | | 
| 22:26 | |
Speaking of ‘work’ it is getting close... gotta’ put some clothes on I suppose.
Perhaps a little more latter today.
- Larry
| 11:05 | |
Where did I leave off...
Well, I never heard from the girl (Megan) that Stoker was suppose to be hooking me up with. Her loss I suppose. =) Kinda’ surprised me the way he was talking it up that we needed to get together. Life goes on!
I am eagerly waiting for this semester to end. I have one more class meeting on Wednesday then a final the next week. I have taken two weeks off from work which will be a blessing considering the recent stress associated with that of recent. Hopefully by the time I come back my IT position should be created and I can transition into that.
I really don’t feel like a long update right now. I know there was something else I needed to tell you all about, but can’t remember what the hell it was. If I think of it or feel like typing more you can read all about it right here!
| 17:36 | |
Cow tao said...
Funny thing, I write songs and dabble in poetry -- I woke up this morning with a line from "Oh Brother Where At Thou" where (is it Tommy Lee Jones?) Who says at one point, "...sweet...summer...rain." I thought, what a great idea for a song lyric. I did a search on Yahoo and saw your post -- and there you have it! - T
| 17:03 | |
Welcome to another issue of My Ramblings. I have several items to update you all on but before I get too far into it I would like to thank cow tao whoever you may be. For those of you have no idea what I am talking about I will explain a little bit latter on.
On to the info about the chick. I finally got her phone number from Stoker, who the whole time hadn’t gotten that yet. He got the number for me on Monday and well all day/night Monday I stressed over making the phone call. I didn’t and was advised not to call on Monday as that would look too desperate or eager. So, I waited, I called her yesterday about 1:30ish. She didn’t answer and I got voicemail. Well I left her a message something to the degree that my name is Larry and I got your number from Bryon Stoker who said you might want to go out sometime, so if you would like to give me a call back and provided my phone number. As of yet, I have not heard anything from her. I think I have come to the conclusion that she is not going to call. If she does call then all the better, but if she doesn’t then no loss on my part either. I am not sure why this sort of thing stresses me out so much. Heather and I were having a similar conversation earlier on Monday. We were talking about the various things that stress us out. She stresses over school and not as bad as it once was but little things. I on the other hand stress over very, very few items. School doesn’t bother me, work gets under my skin every now and then but other than that I can’t think of many things that do. The one thing that has been proven to instantly stress me out is this whole dating thing. I know that my blood pressure goes through the roof when I have to deal with something related to it. I have yet to find a way to deal with it effectively. A point was made on the ride home Monday night that I really don’t like admitting but know that it has a lot to do with my stress level and apprehension when it comes to dating which was my self esteem and fear of rejection. Now I know we all have a fear of rejection and this fear is in various degrees I guess or we all have better ways of controlling it. Which it is I am not sure, but my fear is strong and leads to my desire to not socialize with people. Now don’t get confused, I still don’t like people, and with the exception of the few close friends and well known associates I don’t want to socialize with them. But, the ones I do decide to socialize and specifically in the dating situation I struggle with. Now, once I get comfortable in a situation it is sometimes hard to get me to shut up, this also happens with alcohol. Getting to that point however can take considerable time and in the mean time my poor heart is working overtime and beating way more than it should. Yesterday before I called her it was unreal the stress level I was experiencing. You would have thought it better after I called her and left my message, oh no, it was probably worse. I cleaned the whole house that afternoon and spent at most about 15 minutes sitting at any one time. I suppose sometime in the, hopefully near, future I will learn how to manage this, if not my heart is liable to explode.
Ok, so got an interesting email this morning, I got an email advising me that a comment had been posted to my blog. Now, very few people have my address so unless someone came across it on accident then I pretty much know who reads it. Well I didn’t recognize this username cow tao and couldn’t figure why they were commenting on my blog. At first I wasn’t sure where the comment was, one would have figured a very recent post, like the Smart Water or something close. Nope, this was on a post from August 2004. In August I wrote about an experience I had when I got caught in a rainstorm. I was intrigued and has been on my mind all day trying to figure out who this person is since there is no info in their profile. My first assumption was one of my close poet friends (Heather or Bonnie) but quickly ruled them out because of the time stamps on the email comment and their post. The extent of the comment was: See comments at http://cowtao.blogspot.com/. I have to admit I was a little skeptical when I first seen this and was hesitant to click on the link. I did and it would be a good idea for you to click on it before too much longer. Oh, here is my original post; that they ‘modified’ for me. I have to say that I am very impressed with cow tao’s skills to take my random experience and turn it into a work of art. So, I am not sure who you are or honestly what possessed you to do read my blog but thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing what you did to my words and experience. I think what surprised me the most was that I posted that so long ago, so you either had to be familiar with my blog or skimmed/read all of my post. Whatever the case I was flattered. So, thanks cow tao.
Well, I think that is all I have to write about right now. I am going to go sit on my patio and enjoy the beautiful day.
| 15:15 | |
| 19:17 | |
Finally a day I didn’t have to go to work. I did have school but only one period. I have spent the day sitting here at my computer contemplating how to do my program. I cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom on a Friday night rather than going out and parting and getting drunk like any responsible college student would do. Which I guess is even more of a reason to try this date with Megan (the girl Stoker has found for me). She is definitely cute, she however young too. Granted 19 may not be that bad, and I would imagine she is quite mature since she has been living on her own for sometime now and apparently already has a college degree of some sort. So with all of these factors weighing in on the positive why can’t I just accept the facts. If dating/getting to know someone was not so damn difficult this would be an easy no brainer. I just can’t get over the dreaded first date, the subsequent phone call (be it 3 days or whatever) and all of the joys that go along with that. There is always the possibility that it goes horribly and well in that case I don’t have to worry about the rest of it. But, that doesn’t relieve the stress from the first date.
So, I guess I have decided what the hell! This isn’t going to get any easier, no matter how many first dates I have, so I might as well get some experience under my belt. Now I just have to come up with some ideas for dates. I am completely open for suggestions.
I assure you there will be more on this topic in the very near future.
- Larry
| 00:03 | |
Ok, so I had planned on doing this nice long update, then I remembered that I had to work first thing in the morning. Now 0645 may not be that big deal for most of you, but when you are used to getting up at 0800 at the earliest, it is very rough.
So, instead of the long post, which I am not sure yet what it was going to contain you will all have to settle for this smaller post. What do I need to tell you about? Life is continuing, this is a good thing! No major advances or changes in the past week. School is about over for the semester. I got my grade back on that test I was stressing in the last post. I got a 69 (haha... don’t I wish) anyways, not the best grade in the world. I was pulling my low B, well that is now down to a mid-C. I did get some good news today though, the teacher is going to drop the lowest project score, and had offered some extra credit on the last two projects. I really hate the end of the year because it never fails, all the teachers try to cram a months worth of work in the last two weeks of class. I have 3 or 4 more projects for Tech Writing still. Two of them are group projects and we have yet to meet to discuss them. I still have yet, like my cuz, to come up with a viable schedule for the fall semester. I will only be taking one class this summer and the way things are looking as of now, only one this fall.
On the work front, I went and talked to the city manager yesterday about the IT position that has been in limbo forever and a day now. Well, the ball is officially rolling, by the first of May I should be in my new position making more money $$$!! It is amazing that was all it took, I spent 30 minutes in his office and things are finally happening. I really am not looking forward to going in tomorrow. I have been there everyday since Sunday when I worked that 0700-1900 dayshift. Let me tell you that was fun, 0545, I don’t know how you do it Erika, there is no way I could be at work at 0500. Half of that was my dumb ass fault when I decided to delete our internal website, but we won’t go into all of that. The OT is great, I actually plan on taking it as comp time and use it towards my two weeks I am taking off when this semester ends.
One other topic that has some relation to work then I will leave it alone. I am going to lay this out there and will entertain any comments you guys may have on this subject matter. Stoker (one of my cops) was talking the other day about one of his wife’s co-workers. Well he was referring to her in the context for one of the other officers, in the discussion her daughter came up. Well, me being who I am chimed in and told Stoker to hook me up. I was joking, then I find out yesterday that he took me seriously and this girl wants him to give me her phone number and address. She is apparently interested in meeting and even went so far as to make a comment that she has handcuffs and would use them, oh what exactly did he say, I don’t recall exactly but it kinda’ disturbed me. I understand it was possibly a joke, but WOW. Not exactly something I would say to someone to pass along to a prospective blind date. Well, today Stoker came in and I have slinked my way out of it at least temporarily. I know I need the dating experience, but there is the logistics problem of her living in
I think I am going to leave this entry on that note and head off to bed. I will try and update again later this week.
- Larry
| 22:55 | |
