My ramblings...

Hello again, it’s mid-afternoon spent most of the day sleeping as I have to work tonight. I haven’t gotten my body back into the swing of the staying up all night and sleeping all day yet. I was wide awake today by 3 o’clock, which is almost eight hours of sleep but, it would have been nicer to be waking up now. Not really a whole lot going on in my life at this point. I don’t have much of a social life anyways and with not taking classes I spend most of my day at the house. It is nice not to have to worry about homework and classes and all of the grief that goes along with it. I am really glad I decided to take this semester off. Getting excited about the move in January, I have a lot of stuff that I am going to need to buy. The problem with this is that it requires money to buy stuff. I really should look for a part-time job as well, but with my schedule it is hard to find something for me to do. I need to call around Gainesville to several realtors today but I didn’t’ think about it until now (after they are all closed).

Anyways, I did go out with a couple of friends the other night (Sunday). I went and seen The Manchurian Candidate. If you have a big brother paranoia that the government is watching us and can control our minds then I would encourage you NOT to watch this movie. It will only feed your paranoia which is never good. But, for those of you that are ‘normal’ it was a good movie. It has Denzel Washington in it, who typically makes good war/military movies, this one was no exception.

I think I will close, not much more to say. Perhaps I will write more tonight.

-Larry

Well it is another day, officially. All of you are sound asleep as I type this post, enjoying the comforts of your bed while I am stuck here at work. I was informed that I had to update my blog today and I spent a good part of my shift pondering what I was going to write about. I scanned countless news articles looking for something that truly sparked my interest but to no avail. It wasn’t until I answered a call from a former girlfriend that I had something to write about. I was even reluctant to post it in such a public forum. This was going to be one of those topics that I buried and possible never even discussed. But, I decided to post and chose this as a topic since it surprised me.

I actually talked to her twice, the first time caught me off guard. She claims that she was bored and knew that I would be awake for her to talk to. As most of you are aware I do not spend much time on the telephone with those of you that I enjoy talking to so the half an hour I spent on the phone with someone that I would rather have not talked to was shear torture. This conversation was for the most part the unpleasantries (not sure if that is spelled right, neither is Word) that you have with an ex since you talked last. How are you? How have you been doing? What are you up? The usuals I managed to make it though these with little problem when the opportunity finally presented itself I terminated the call (unfortunately not soon enough). I was a little befuddled by the call but not nearly as bad when she called back again about 10 minutes later. I thought the first thirty minutes was hell, boy was I mistaken. This time she wanted to talk about us and our former relationship. I knew I was in trouble when she said “I have a few questions I want to ask you” (guys, if this happens… RUN as fast as you possibly can). Question one was why did we break-up. I stuck to my original story that I told her in the fact that I didn’t have feelings for her anymore. I also tried to explain (looking back on it not sure why I bothered) my philosophy on relationships. I told her that I refuse to stay in a relationship if I cannot see myself with that person long term (5, 10+ years or married to). I told her that I didn’t see us being together in that capacity, which of course prompted another question, why not. And then the comment that we weren’t together (in her opinion) long enough for me to make that determination. Anyways, after that whole discussion she asked if we could try again. UUUUUUHHH… NO!!!! Sorry about your luck, I obviously didn’t like you enough then and not much has changed so… NO!!! My official response was something to the degree that my thoughts have not changed and would do no good to even try. She then proceeded to tell me that she had been thinking about me and trying to figure out what happened between us and her uncertainty in the way it ended was the reason she had not seriously dated since we separated and blah, blah, blah… still a NO! She asked me if I still had feelings for her (uh... NO) my response “Nothing beyond concern for your welfare” (which I have for most humans). This of coarse was not the answer she wanted to hear and asked if I had feelings for her then. Once again sticking to my guns I said I am not sure but the conclusion I came to was that I did not. Once again not the answer she wanted. I also had to deal with the typical questions like “Did I do something wrong?” and other routine break-up questions. I am sure there were more relationship (pointed) questions in there that I can’t recall at the moment… I am still in a slight state of shock. She then tried to change the topic of our discussion and have a normal conversation with me. How in the hell did she expect to carry on a normal conversation after those types of questions. We all have the ability to relay our emotions though the tone of our voice. Apparently my voice was that of someone aggravated/agitated. She picked up on this (congrats for her) and asked if she had aggravated or pissed me off. Uhh.. lets think for a minute, an ex calls you up and ask you questions like those above, would it aggravate you? I told her that she was walking very close to that line and then we proceeded to terminate the phone call (thank God).

Why can’t I just be the typical male ass hole? If I could have filled that role this would not be an issue. Still in this conversation I couldn’t do it. I guess I will have to work on selective good naturedness. I am going to rap this up, I was just shocked my the conversation and the fact that she wants me back (that is an interesting feeling, even though I do not share her feelings). The question is why can’t I find someone that I could have the same feelings for?

Just as an aside for you grammar and spelling nuts, I am sure there are quite a few spots in here that you will cringe at. I think I might have even made up some words as I went along (since word doesn’t like a couple of them) but you will have to forgive me, the words came quickly as I typed.


Wow… that was fun. I almost wish that would have been on a recorded line!


- Larry

I am going to venture down the political path for a minute. Now that I actually have some time to watch the news and read some articles you might expect some more of these Larry Commentaries in the future. I want to vent a few minutes about the Kerry/Bush election that is coming up soon. I would consider myself a republican (although I am registered as a democrat, just haven’t changed it yet, I had no idea at age 18 what I was or what the difference was) not far right but I really don’t stay in the middle. I suppose I walk just right of the fence, sometimes crossing over. I also will admit that I am a pro-Bush supporter, I might not approve of all that he has done, nor is he the smartest of guys but he gets the job done.

Anyways I want to talk about the controversy over the TV ads and Kerry’s war record. If you haven’t been following the news let me catch you up a second. Apparently there was an ad run by a group of veterans that criticized Kerry’s performance and the three purple hearts that he has. You can read the whole article (actually from a local newspaper) below, I will highlight a few of my peeves for you, you can read over it and make your own opinions and if you don’t like mine… then close the browser! This ad apparently ran in about three states for a week and accused Kerry of inflating his Vietnam War record. I am not in a position to question what the man did 30+ years ago. There are very few people that can remember the exact details of something that took place that long ago. I am not even going to touch on the subject that he might have and will just let him have his three purple hearts and leave it at that. President Bush came forward and criticized this commercial and all other commercials like it saying that “…they’re bad for the system”. Bush also commended Kerry on his service and said that he should be proud of his service and record. Way to go Mr. President. There is enough mud slinging that goes on when election time comes around just between the two major parties that we don’t need little independent groups joining in. Now the President was criticized for not condemning this ad while it was running. Many of the democrats felt that he should have condemned it shortly after it started airing rather than after it stopped (stopped on 8/12). What killed me the most about this article was the fact that President Bush has been slammed with so many ads by private groups with no one putting the pressure on Kerry to condemn these ads against Bush. This quote is found about a quarter of the way through the article…

"The moment of truth came and went, and the president still couldn't bring himself to do the right thing," Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards said in a statement. "We need a president with the strength and integrity to say when something is wrong."

"Too little, too late," added party chairman Terry McAuliffe.

Keep in mind that this comes from Kerry’s running mate and possible our next vice-president. Farther down in the article (an advantage for conservatives, something not seen in today’s media) the writer points out the fact that while ads ran and still continue to run against Bush by independent groups Kerry has not condemned these ads although he demanded it from Bush. I love the fact that we need a president with the strength and integrity to say when something is wrong, but Kerry can't even do it himself. Bush has at least said something about the ad, that's more than Kerry can say.

While Kerry and Democrats have demanded that Bush condemn the attack on his war record, the president has been targeted by an estimated $60 million in commercials by outside groups since the campaign began.

Kerry has declined to call for an end to those ads, which helped him at a time when he did not have the funds to compete with Bush' campaign advertising budget.

WOW!!! How one sided is that? Kerry couldn't afford to run his own ads (smear campaign) so he let someone else do it for him, 60 million dollars worth of ads. Then when someone decides to run an ad against him the democrats get their panties in a bunch and demand Bush to criticize these ads that is hurting their candidate. Why didn't they get upset when the same type of ads ran against Bush?

One last point to make then I will close. At the very bottom of the article they accuse the GOP of creating this ad. Tell me something if you are anti-Kerry wouldn't your views lean more to the GOP/Republican party? So, if you made a commercial, don't you think that it would too reflect some of these views?

- Larry
The Article

P.s.: I have included a joke I got today that I just can't help sharing.

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston Isle in his Pope mobile when suddenly he notices a frantic commotion just off shore.

There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, President George W. Bush quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Dick Cheney reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious John Kerry from the water. Then using (autographed Round Rock Express) baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick, "Who was that?"

"It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has all of God's wisdom."

"Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up?"

Niagara Falls - USA Side - From observation tower

Just a quick overview of the events of my glorious week away from here. We left out of here on Sunday afternoon about 3 p.m. after my dad got off of work. In total we were looking at about 1200 miles. Our plans were to drive all the way though and get there sometime Sunday afternoon. The drive up was fairly uneventful; we did have to stop about every hundred miles to refill the water in my dad’s truck. It has a large crack in the block which causes it to leak the water, which he couldn’t get fixed before we left. Other than that it was a long drive, we all rotated the drive time between the three of us. We goy up there at about 1 or 2 Monday afternoon, which wasn’t bad time wise. Once we got up there we spent the day unloading and trying to patch the truck as best we could. That evening I seen my cousins that I had not seen in sometime. We ate dinner then played some cards and off to bed. On Tuesday we went and picked up the kayaks, this proved to be a very aggravating experience for me. I had forgotten how bad my mom can get on my nerves. Perhaps it is because I have gotten older and understand more of what is going on but she finds that one button and continuously mashed it the entire time I was there. It got so bad that I decided not to give any input as to what was happening or going on while we were on our trip. Got myself in trouble a couple of times with my wise-ass comments, so I decided it best to keep my mouth shut. I will get into more of how my mother jumped on my nerve latter. That could be a long, long blog. Anyways, we put the kayaks in the water later that afternoon at Sylvan Beach. This was a little stream that emptied into Oneida Lake. From my point of view it wasn’t all that great. It was flat water with very little current. It did however provide my parents a good learning experience. They had never been in a kayak before and was a good starting place. We finished out our little trip and went back to the house. Wednesday we headed up to Salmon River. This had some white water something that we had never done before. We stopped and looked at the river and it didn’t look bad so we gave it a shot. It was shallow in quite a few spots which made it difficult to get over some of the larger rocks. Me and Heather made it down it down without incident. My parents flipped their kayak once but we all had a blast. It was a long ride, took us about four hours. Not really sure how many miles it actually was, I haven’t broke down and bought a GPS yet. We packed up and headed back we were suppose to meet my cousin at his house for dinner. Thursday rolled around and the weather wasn’t looking all that great. We were supposed to take the kayaks back before too late so that we could head out for Niagara. We decided to kayak a small creek that was close to the house. This was Chittenango Creek and will constitute an entire blog entry in and of its self. This is the one we suffered some injury on after flipping and floating down stream for some time. Perhaps I will write more about this tomorrow. After that fiasco we went back to nurse our wounds while my father and uncle returned the kayaks. Once they got back we started the three hour drive over to Niagara. Once we finally got over there and found a hotel and ate we headed to the boarder. We crossed over and viewed the falls at night with their colorful illumination. It was a good little hike especially with banged up knees and shins. As always the sheer power associate with all of that moving water was absolutely impressive. I had been there before and it was still amazing. After walking all the way down to Horseshoe Falls (the big one on the Canadian side) we turned back around and headed to the hotel (more on this in the aggravating mother story). The next morning we headed out, we had to do the souvenir thing and we wanted to go back to the falls for a couple of hours. This time we didn’t cross the boarder and stayed on the US side at the national park. Needless to say this was another impressive day just looking at that falls; I got some really awesome shots of the US falls and the river. After having our fill of everything Niagara had to offer we headed back. We stopped off at this huge outlet mall; I spent way to much money but got some much needed clothes. We finally got back and then started getting packed for our departure Saturday. We got loaded and were ready by about noon. I needed to go to Radio Shack and pick up a piece for my headphones. We stopped and got my part and then ate lunch and headed for the interstate. We had planned on stopping for the night but decided to go ahead and drive all night long. The patch that my dad applied to the truck held and helped to speed our return trip. We did make an unscheduled stop at my grandmothers which kinda’ aggravated me (another mother incident) but she hadn’t seen her in about 3 months and she isn’t doing too hot right now. We were back at home by noon, which was really good time. All in all I had a good time with the exception of my mother it was a great trip.

More to come…

- Larry

I have returned from my vacation. Had a blast… plenty to talk tell you about. I might even post a few pictures. I won’t bore you with all of the details of our trip but merely highlight some of the more interesting occurrences like Chittenango Creek. That hurts just thinking about it. Anyways, more to come latter, just wanted to let you know I had returned.

- Larry

Caution: Extreme rant included. Read with care.
Lots to talk about and a really tired author. I finally got off of work at about 10, Charley changed his mind and decided not to visit our area. I found out something really interesting this morning as I was about to leave work, our back-up generator didn’t work! It seems that our voltage regulator died and would not power the building. I hung around this morning to make sure that got started in the repair. We finally found a part for the generator and it was fixed (all while I was soundly sleeping). I only got about 5 hours of sleep this afternoon and went back into work shortly after waking up. By this time Charley had changed course and was suppose to miss our area. I headed in and wanted to personally check the generator since I was going to be the one sitting in that little box without lights if it didn’t work. I also had to adjust the sensitivity of our battery back-ups so they didn’t run all the time. After getting all of that done it was time to settle into my shift. By this point I had decided that nothing was going to happen and was preparing for a really long shift. They finally decided to let us go, patrol got to leave at 9 but the phones were still kinda’ busy so I had to hang around until 10. Before all of this happened while I was still there this morning, my partner for tonight called and talked to the supervisor. He wanted her to call me, while I am suppose to be on vacation mind you, and ask me to cover his shift tonight because he didn’t want to leave his wife. This was before the storm changed its path and was suppose to come right across our area. I really can’t stand her and I guess she convinced him to try and get the night off. I hit the roof, what baffled me the most was that the supervisor called me into the office and asked me about it. I looked at her and said I am already working tonight, what am I suppose to work by myself. I could not believe the audacity he had to call and want to call me in from my vacation to cover his shift just because he or his wife was scared about this storm. This women is 35+ years old and is worried about this storm… she could have gone to a shelter like everyone else that was concerned about the storm. But, I guess she couldn’t have brought there farm family, 20+ dogs, ferrets, and whatever the hell else they have to the shelter since they didn’t allow pets. I was so hoping he wouldn’t show up, that would have been an almost automatic termination. I think I am done ranting, I have vented already, but if I had a computer when it happened you would still be reading about this bitch (which one you might ask, both him and her). /Rant off

Other than this freaking storm there hasn’t been much else. Apparently my cousin told her mom about moving out tonight. That went over like a ton of shit, I am sure this will be an interesting couple of months before the move happens. My family (immediate) shouldn’t flip out like hers is/has. I still haven’t told my grandmother, but she won’t try and stop me from going. I have talked a little more with my dad about it, still not much of a reaction. They trust my judgment though and if this is something that I have decided to do then they will back me on it. They know as well as many of you that I don’t just make a decision without weighing all of the options pros and cons and usually a couple of times. I must have a really strange family; this should be harder shouldn’t it?

Got about a hundred things I need to get done before the trip to NY. All of which I am sure I won’t get done. I need to go get some things from Gainesville, clean the truck out and wash it, as well as pack still. I also have to remember that all though it is August for us (the hottest part of summer typically) it is the beginning of fall (a season we don’t have) so it is cold up there. Almost like winter for we natives up there. Mom called this evening and it was 54 degrees. This should be interesting, I am going to freeze my Florida Cracker ass off. I have got to get some shut eye lots to do in the morning.


-Larry

It is officially Friday and I am stuck at work. Why you say? You are suppose to be on vacation. Well that is one of the joys of working in law enforcement. If the shit hits the fan you are the first people they call. I can blame good ol’ hurricane Charley for cutting my vacation short. Our chief is just slightly paranoid about this thing demolishing our small city. There is some clout behind this (about a 30% chance) but the impact we will see from it will be nothing compared to a true coastal city. I am here until 7AM and then back again come 7PM tonight. That should be the most interesting part, since it is suppose to make landfall sometime during my shift. It is kinda’ nice that we are running double coverage, it gets ruff in here by yourself. I am not sure what I am going to do tonight though. The person I am working with is also a good friend and we can have conversation about most anything, I won’t have that luxury come 7PM since she just refuses to come back in and work with me (haven’t figured out why yet). I guess I will find something to keep me busy all night. Perhaps it will be busy, I really haven’t had to work in a long time it might not be a bad idea for me to flex my dispatch muscles again. In any case this was definitely not on my vacation to-do list. I probably wouldn’t have answered the cell phone/voicemail had my captain not said that me leave was canceled and I needed to call him back ASAP. He was cool about me being on leave, I am only working these two shifts, so its not really not that bad. I do think that he is going a little overboard with some of his provisions but I be not the powers that be so I just show up and do what I have to do. This could pose some problems for our travel to NY. Hopefully the storm will be a ways ahead of us and won’t cause too much rain while we are driving. People tend to get really stupid when it rains. I have canceled the plans for the little get together at my house on Saturday. The storm should be well clear of our area by then but the area that I live retains water badly and would be nothing but a marsh come Saturday afternoon. I think I am done writing, I have reached that point in the morning that I am just ready for bed. In any case the next 24 hours should be interesting and I will keep you updated.

- Larry

It’s official, I am now a software flunky, I changed my major this afternoon. I really don’t think this will be a bad thing for me. My software scores have been fairly high which if they continue will help my overall GPA. I really am not thrilled about the college that I have now joined. It’s kinda’ complex how UF does this, my hardware major was part of the College of Engineering. My new major is now part of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. Needless to say this college’s standards are no where near as strict as the CoE (College of Engineering) and could be viewed by some as less prestigious. I guess that is the price you pay for not getting your shit together though. I would rather graduate UF with a decent GPA rather than allow it to suffer severely by staying in the hardware side. The statement that bothered me the most while talking to my new councilor was “Oh yeah, we take D’s no problem”. It will be interesting at least my classes thus far roll over into the new major with no problems (even the D’s). I asked Tim (I believe his name was) if I could afford to take this semester off (with the CoE I would have had to take classes to get off of probation) he said that would not be a problem. So, I doubt that I am going to take classes this next term. I still haven’t made a final decision I want to look at what classes are being offered. I have a limited selection due to the fact that I haven’t taken a prerequisite class yet that rolls into most of the software classes. I would really like to save up some extra cash this fall so that the move will be a little easier on me, but on the other hand I am ready to get school at of the way and done with and taking a semester off will not accomplish that. Anyways, that was the first part of my day. After getting all of that done I started getting ready for the little get together on Saturday, and starting to get things together for the trip to New York. I guess we are going to leave on Sunday which should put us up there late afternoon on Monday. My cousin wants to go to Niagara/Canada while we are up there so I guess the two of us will probably drive up there one day since it won’t be far from where we will be. I also have in the works to rent a couple of kayaks while we are up there. There are apparently quite a few good places to kayak close to the house, so this will accomplish one of my goals for being on vacation. Not sure what else will be going on but I am sure that we won’t stop much. During that week I am not sure how many times I will be able to update this blog, but I will try. I am going to close… I have another long day ahead of me. In addition to all of the crap I need to get done I also have to go and look at a co-workers computer (lucky me). ‘Till next time.

- Larry

I got caught in a rainstorm today. This hasn’t happened in a long time but I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love the rain and especially thunder/lighting storms that we here in Florida are so privileged to have on a regular basis. I was down in the field mowing when it finally started to rain. It felt really good, having this pure rain water washing away the days grim and filth. I continued what I was doing until the lightning started to get severe. Once this occurred I proceeded to the small pavilion that is in the area and parked the tractor. I pulled up a chair admired the weather. It’s kinda interesting all of the amazing things that nature puts in front of us and how we spend little time to actually appreciate it. I decided that it had been a while since I had appreciated this beauty so I sat there. Listening to it hit the roof, watching the bright flashes of lightning and hearing the loud boom that follows shortly thereafter. I sat there for a good half an hour watching as the rain transformed the area. It gave me time to think, to clear my head and just be by myself for a while. I had no commitments, nothing that had to be done, and no where to go, so I sat. It was a nice escape, no one to bother me only me the rumble and the rain. My vantage point did not allow me an excellent opportunity to observe my favorite part of a storm, the lightning. I love to watch it as it dances across the typically dark skies. From where I was sitting though all I could see were trees (not really where you want to be in a lightning storm) but I was afforded the opportunity to observe several good strikes. One of which was relatively close to my area and would almost venture to say somewhere on my property. It is amazing the awesome power that comes with one of our summer storms. Just the lightning alone it thousands of volts of energy generated in milliseconds. The rain itself is also quite powerful. A rainstorm like the one this afternoon has the potential to change a landscape with minimal effort. This was evident in the small stream that was flowing off the hill as I returned to the house. As I exited my shelter and started to my house I was again drenched by the falling rain, but not minding it one bit I proceeded on without trying to protect myself. As I entered the house to dry off I found that the power was out, another reminder of a storms ability. Dinner was ate with the help of oil lamps and entertainment was created with out this luxury we have all come to depend on. Although these wonders of nature are nice to enjoy with a significant other, you should take the time to enjoy one soon. Perhaps it will be as relaxing for you as it was for me.

I also found out some disturbing news from my councilor at school. You will find below his email, which I guess I will be taking his advice. I will go to campus sometime this week to find out what I need to do. I’ll keep you updated.

- Larry

You are still on probation. You received a D+ in Circuits 2 and a C+ in Micro P. Those grades were not good enough to get off probation. My thoughts is you received less than a C in Electronic Circuits, Solid State, and even after 2 attempts, Circuits 2.

Your computer grades are all B and above, and the associated EEL courses like digital logic and micro P were C+. That tells me you don't belong in Hardware and should change to software. But if you insist on trying to do something you are not very good at, come by to sign another probation contract.

Got my grades, my fears came true, I got a D+ in my circuits two class. Not sure yet what that does to my GPA. I have emailed my counselor I should hear back from him soon as to the status of my grades. I really have to figure out what my problem is before I screw my future up royally.

-Larry

"We aim above the mark to hit the mark."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Another day has ended, no major happenings today. My dad got back from New York, we took my grandmother to lunch for her birthday. Had plenty to catch up with dad on. I told him about my plans to move out come January and my concerns for my grandmother. I would have to say that my family is probably the most supportive folks I know. No matter how much they really don’t approve of what is going on, should I need them they will be there. Dad really didn’t say much about my decision. He asked me some specifics like how much was rent and the area we were looking at. But he never really said yeah or nay to it. And from the outside this might seem like a bad thing but I know how he works and this was not. I can’t really describe it but dad isn’t very vocal. I am sure we will talk about it more in depth as time approaches. I still worries me about my grandmother living here by herself. She has become fairly depend on my physical abilities to help with items that she cannot perform. Besides this fact she currently has the extra security that I provide should something happen out here. We talked about my little brother moving in with her, but he quite frankly might just push her over the edge. I guess we will have to see how this plays out.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my education and what the hell I am doing. I am afraid that I am going to get a D in my other class. If I do then I have to bust my ass this next semester to get off of academic probation. I have been thinking that maybe I am in the wrong major. Perhaps I should be in the software field. I looked at the differences between the two and there isn’t much. The main difference is the classes that I am taking and getting D’s in! The hardware specific stuff like circuits 2 and electronic circuits. This is the stuff I struggle with. So, do I try and change majors? Or do I continue with the path that I am on and just do the best that I can. Can I afford the suffering to my GPA? I know that employers what the best employee possible and GPA is a major consideration especially if you are coming straight out of college. I do have an advantage that I have been gainfully employed for six plus years, but with that and a below average GPA can I still find a decent job? I don’t know! I also have seen a very disturbing trend the last couple of semesters. I go strong the fist half to three quarters of the semester. After that my grades start to suffer bad, granted the material is typically harder by this point. I also know that I start to slack off as the break approaches. The only thing that I can attribute this to (other than that fact that I am just being lazy) is that I am looking forward to the break that I am not worried about my studies. This I think has a direct relation to the fact that I have been going to school for five full years now. I think in that five years I have taken two or three semesters off. Otherwise when I was at community college I was going full time 12+ hours a semester. Since I have been at UF I have been taking at least 7 credit hours a term. I am not sure if this is truly the cause, but I know I am ready for a break. I would love to take this fall term off, but if my grade takes another blow I won’t have a choice in the matter because I only have this last semester to bring my GPA back up to departmental standards. I am not sure what to do, I don’t want to get burned out, but I also want to get done with school as soon as possible. Decisions, decisions, and no solid answers. I suppose I will know more to make a decision come tomorrow night. Until then I will just continue to speculate and analyze my current situation since that is what I do.

‘till next time

- Larry

Well today was a fairly long day. I am currently in the process of looking for an apartment to rent come January. Me and my cousin spent all day today looking at places and driving all around Gainesville. We got a lot done but didn’t cover all of the apartments on our list. We pretty much have narrowed it down to two good choices. I met this really cute manager at the place that is at the top of our list. This could prove to be interesting, we’ll have to wait and see. Anyways, this place looks pretty cool and unless something comes along that can bet it, well then that’s probably where we’ll end up. Still have a couple months before anything happens though. Plus we still have to break it to our perspective families. This will be prove to be more difficult for her, but won’t be a walk in the park for me. I just check my class website, I got one of my grades back… C+ (77 to be exact). I would have hoped for something a little bit higher, but I guess it works… now the question is what I got in the other class. I will close now, the twelve hours today took a lot out of me.

- Larry

Hi again, before you ask, no my grades are not online yet. It will now be Monday before I know anything. Anyways, I’ll let you know as soon as I can. My last couple of days… well Thursday I got up and tried to catch up on some much needed chores around the house. I got a good start on a few and finished a few up. Today, I had to work, go in on my vacation. I was suppose to be sitting with a co-worker to assist her in some difficulties she has been having. I also scheduled a meeting with our network consultants only expecting him to be there for at most a couple of hours. Boy was I wrong; we ended up spending about 6 hours looking at stuff both on our network as well as the cities. So, I spent about 4 hours, in which time nothing happened, with my co-worker. I really don’t want to go in next week with her and I might not since we now have a change in the schedule anyways that will have two people on most of her shift. I do have to go in on Monday to go take a damn class for our new software (which I won’t install until after I come back from vacation). In other news, my dad should be back from New York soon, he asked me last night if I wanted to ride back up with him to pick up my mom the week of the week of the 16th. I guess I will be going, I do have to work out the logistics of Monday since I am not suppose to get back from the beach until late. It would be nice to get away other than my beach trip I really haven’t planned on doing anything. I did have about a thousand other things that I wanted to do around here that probably won’t happen now, but I guess that is life. Oh yeah, I am also apparently suppose to host a “shoot-off” between my cousin and another friend of mine. Looking at the calendar this will have to happen sometime this next week. That in a nut shell has been my life and the current decisions I am faced with.

Now, on to the good stuff, my thoughts.
As I left work this afternoon I headed to the local video store. I had to drop off a movie I watched last night (Hell Boy) and wanted to see if there was anything interesting. Well, after pursuing the ‘massive’ selection they have to offer I came to the conclusion that there wasn’t anything that I cared to see or anything that I had not seen already. It was at this point as I left the store empty handed and not wanting to go home I realized, I live a pathetic life. I had no one to call and say, “Let’s go catch a movie.” I do have a small and I mean small group of friends but lets see, one has exams next week, one is working, and the other one I really didn’t feel like calling. Plus it was kinda’ short notice and most of my friends have commitments otherwise, i.e. boy/girlfriends. No matter how trusting a boyfriend is there is always that thought that this guy might be trying to steal my chick. The absence of a significant other is also starting to wear at me a little. I had been out of the dating game for quite some time so the short stint that I spent back active in it was nice. Now I have been back out for about 6 months and kinda’ miss it. I keep telling myself that I really don’t have time for a girlfriend, which is arguably true. I have barely enough time to sleep let alone give my undivided attention to a female. But, I listen to the dare I say ranting’s of friends that are currently involved and would love to be in a situation to have some of these problems. There are definitely advantages to being single (like money and its ability to stay in the bank) but it does get old. I get tired of telling myself the same thing over and over again. You are all trying to help me adjust and become more out-going. I sometimes wonder if it is a hopeless cause. Fear not, I will continue trying until I cannot stand it any more or we succeed. Until then I can’t help but think that maybe the single life is my destiny. Hell, my little brother is married and starting a life. Am I behind? I am not even done with school yet and I have been going for five years straight. This is another topic of discussion for a blog at later (got it right this time) point. I know that many of you are in the same situation I am in and I am sure that you have had the same thoughts. Some of you I might have even helped some of you with these. Not sure what brought on these thoughts but sometimes I think about how much it sucks to be single. I guess it will all work out

Before I close for the evening a few final thoughts. I just found out that my Aunt and Uncle are coming over tomorrow. Oh joy! My aunt I can deal with, my uncle on the other hand… just plain out aggravates me! He is the kind of person that unless it is done his way or has his blessing it is incorrect. So needless to say I am overjoyed at this news. I might need to find something to do away from here in the morning. Any suggestions? Anyways, they are coming over to take my grandmother out to lunch for her birthday, which presents another problem. What the hell do I get her? I will leave you now, you are probably getting tired of reading. I leave you with a quote.

-Larry



"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."

-Benjamin Disraeli

My torture is now over. All of my finals have been completed and now I await the outcome. Am I destined to say on academic probation and struggle one last semester to remove this status or do I prevail? At this point only time will tell. I get asked time and time again how I think I did? I really have no clue. There is no direct indicator as to weather I have completed my test successfully. Most of the test I take are designed in such a way that unless you have a complete understanding of the material forwards and backwards and can speed write you typically don’t finish in the allotted time frame. This class micro processors (uP) was a two hour test. At 15 minutes prior to time, the instructor asked if we were close. It was an overwhelming NO! So, he extended it another 15 minutes. As this deadline approached and the fact that he had only received one or two test (out of about 100 students) he extended it another 15 minutes. This was the drop dead time and most of the students were still sitting there or like me were tired of staring at the same problem and just got up and turned in their papers to beat the mad rush as the instructor calls time. Does this comfort me, well yes to some degree. But, the fact that this test only had 11 problems, and I had trouble with the largest one (4 pages) which will also count the largest percentage of the grade. This instructor hopes to have the grades posted by Friday. If they don’t get posted by then it will be Monday night before I can find out my grades. This was my last test, the first one this morning just didn’t go very good. I am hoping for massive partial credit. This will be the only way I survive the test. Three problems, to be completed in one hour fifteen minutes. I had an answer for all of the problems or at least a good start towards the solution. But, I also had the most riding on that test. Now we wait…

To catch you up on the happenings I had to deal with while trying to study. I got a wink the other day on my profile. It was from a GAY man, but I got a wink! WTF!!! I hit the roof, I was encouraged to update my profile and emphasize the fact that I am seeking FEMALES not MALES! Not much else has developed on that front so far, I am working on updating my info so I seem more appealing. Thus far though no hits. I am suppose to be on vacation as of 0700 hrs this morning, but because I seem to such a popular and ‘necessary’ person I will end up working most of this next week. I have got about a thousand and one things that I would like to get done before school starts back up. I know that I won’t even get a quarter of them done but I can always try right.

I know I said it would be a long post tonight but I for some reason have lost the urge to type. I think I am going to close, maybe I will go to bed early.


-Larry

and one to go. I really don’t feel good about that last test though. And I really can’t afford another D. Guess there isn’t much I can do about it now though. I am off to bed, gonna try and get a couple hours of sleep before the next one. Wish me luck. Oh, if I were you I would expect a long post tonight after this shit is over with.

- Larry

Quick post, I promise.
I have to admit I am getting a little scared as my finals approach. I calculated my grades last night and I really need a B on both of my test. I really don’t think this will be a problem in my micro processors class but circuits 2 scares the hell out of me. I got a 55 on the last test which really hurt. Anyways, I thought I would share that with you, not that it will enhance your lives in anyway but hay. I just really wish Wednesday would get here and over with. Then all I have to worry about is the wait until they post my grades! Perhaps I will post again this evening.

- Larry

My day finally is coming to a close. Do you remember the drug commercials... "This is your brain... this is your brain on drugs. Any questions?". To best describe my day just replace 'drugs' with school or more specifically micro processors. I had about decided not to post a lot today, matter of fact that is what I told a friend will chatting online earlier in the evening.

So what changed my mind...?
I got online and started looking at the "matches" for my profile. I had actually thought last night a lot about what I was going to post today. That was part of the reason that I didn’t get to sleep until after 3:30 (damn mind, it never stops!). Anyways, I got on Match and started looking around and just got that damn mind of mine going again. I pondered last night human kinds need for relationships. We all have this desire to be in a stable and happy relationship. This desire seems to be breed into us from birth the desire to find "the one" that we can spend the rest of our lives with. I will admit that I too am guilty of this desire, but I look around me and see people torturing themselves over the idea of a "perfect" relationship. My belief is that ALL relationships take work. This also cannot be a one-sided work, both parties have to actively involved in trying to perfect the relationship. You can't have a relationship with your self (at least not in the since that I am referring to). If you could there would be no reason to date other people. Both parties have to work through their faults both emotionally and mentally. We all go into relationships with emotional baggage, our significant other should be one that we can entrust some of this baggage with and get some help carrying it. I also feel that there should be some level of attraction on a physical as well as an intellectual and emotional level. Now, some would call me shallow for saying that there has to be some physical attraction but we are all guilty of it. You don’t do a double take at some "ugly" person walking down the street and say "I bet he/she could hold a really good conversation". I do use the work ugly very loosely because we all have our expectation of beauty. I would say to you that I am not the most attractive person, but I don’t think that I am that bad off plus I can hold a good conversation with you (or at least write one ;) ). My point is that there has to be some degree of attraction, no matter how good of a conversationalist or personality, you have to be able to stand to look at each other. What really baffles me the most is the drastic differences between the two sexes. I know there is a book out about this, I can somewhat remember the title but I don’t want to risk mixing the two planets up. I am sure I would never hear the end of that one. Perhaps someday I will have to read it. Once we reach a certain maturity level, we all start looking for "the one" some of us get there sooner than others. I know you have all heard the phrase that women mature faster than men, as much as I would like to admit that this not true I ultimately have to. Granted there are exceptions to this rule, myself included (I think). But women seem to be quicker to want to find their knight in shinning armor. I really hate to break it to you ladies but there are few of these out there. On the flip side there are few damsels in distress that would allow a knight to rescue them. Once again society steps in to ruin something that was once good. I have this habit of opening doors for ladies, just one of those things. I don’t do it to impress people; it’s just something I do. I will also confess that society has also taken its toll on me. Some things that would go along with the chivalry that women look for I have lost. This is because it has become socially unacceptable. I do have to thank my parents for what little bit I have kept. But women, in general, are looking for guys with these qualities that they could perceive as raising their children. However, since not many of these men exist they have been forced to choose from societies children and deal with the lack of qualities they were once looking for. This acceptance level varies for woman to woman, but most have accepted this fact. Sill they hold on to these grand ideals and when their man fails to live up to this standard they become upset. Now ladies I am not going to say that you should outright forgive your man, I will get into this in a minute. But, society has destroyed the majority of the mythical creatures that you are looking for. I would encourage you to set your chivalric standard high and then if need be adjust it, don’t just find the first guy that comes along because part of the dream is dead. Merely look, you may find that there are more of these creatures that possess qualities you are looking for than you realize. Sometimes they can be a bit shy. Ladies you also have to keep in mind that we are guys. Sometimes you have to understand this and allow the lesser of the species time to catch up. In our defense though, some of the things you ladies come up with to test us is just absurd (damn Cosmo), you have to admit that at times your not the easiest of folks to get along with no matter how much we love you.

Now on to the part that the ladies are waiting for, I am going to help you man bash. We guys are just hard creatures to deal with aren’t we? Most of us are stuck in our ways and getting us to change is literally pulling teeth. One thing I have noticed is that most men are not really that observant. I consider myself to be a student of behaviors. I observe people and record their actions and interactions (mentally, I don’t write them down, though if I did I could have several notebooks full on some of you). I have noticed that guys in general though seem to pay this very little attention. Guys, if you know something pisses your lady off… DON’T DO IT! If we could follow this simple rule our lives would be much easier. Women want us to pay them some attention; it’s really not that hard. They seem to be impressed with even the very smallest of actions. You can think society for numbing them enough to look for even small gestures. Now I told the ladies earlier that they should let us off the hook if we should not live up to the chivalric standard. This should follow the three strikes rule. So you goof up once and a while, not really a big deal but if you can see that it means a lot to your lady then you damn sure better try harder next time. Who knows you may already be on strike two. Ok, this section is for the folks that do have a level of chivalry above the common man. It doesn’t always help! Take my word for it. I am coping with this issue as we speak and when I figure out what the secret is I will sell it to you! I have been told many times “you’re a great guy”. That’s nice and all but I am still single. Nice guys finish last is about accurate. I think that the key is finding the balance between chauvinistic ass and the nice guy, once this balance is achieved you should have to bat them away (I’m still waiting, bat in hand). I think I will close now before I get myself in any more trouble than I already am. Just think about it, be it that you are in a relationship now or are still looking like me. None of us are perfect; the question is what degree of ‘perfection’ can we tolerate?

- Larry