My ramblings...

Welcome to another addition of “As Larry’s Life Turns”. For the most part this day has not been anything out of the ordinary. After getting off from work this morning I proceeded to get as much sleep as was possible before going to my last day of regular classes. I have found out that both of my final exams are on the same day. This really sucks on multiple levels it so not even funny. The first way it sucks is that I have to work the night before. So, I will be getting off at 7:00a.m. and will have to go and take my first test at 11:00a.m. with minimal sleep, then since my next test is not until 7:00p.m. I will drive all the way back to my house to try and get a few more hours of sleep before the test that I am really worried about. With that in mind this weekend and the first part of next week will be spent studying. I might miss a few postings in this time frame, but maybe not, it allows me a much needed break. Anyways, that is my next couple of days. I do plan on going to see a movie with hopefully a couple of friends this weekend. We will just have to wait and see how that plays out.

I did do something interesting at work last night…
Under the challenge of a co-worker/friend I posted a profile on an online dating service (Match.com if any of you are interested). She challenged me to try it for a month just for the heck of it. So, I did it! I will be seeking the advice of some of you on perfecting my profile since I really can’t describe myself coherently. I also took a personality test that I thought was fairly accurate. I am going to post part of it here, if you have any feedback please let me know.

Your Qualities
· Shy at times (Ok, yeah!)
· Peacemaker (Can’t we all get along?)
· Dependable (Just pick-up the phone)
· Working toward a dream (Might not remember the dream all the time, but yeah)

You're a pillar of strength

You're smart, insightful, and successful in your career. People can rely on you to get the job done. You have a vision for the future and always are searching to find love and a sense of "balance" in your life. Because you're an independent guy and a little shy, making deep connections with other people can be a challenge. You're not someone who "wears his heart on his sleeve" so even those closest to you don't always know how you feel. But your masculine and stable presence in life makes you worth the investment to get to know.

Quirks women notice

Like all men, you have your strengths as well as your quirks and shortcomings. Ultimately, you want to find someone who will love and accept you "warts and all." Because you're a private person, it's especially important that you find a partner who understands.

• On most days, you need to get away from other people (including your loved ones) and have quiet time alone to rest and recharge your emotional and social batteries.
• The organization and time-management skills that serve you so well in your career can spill over into your personal life and at times make you seem controlling and impatient.
  

You may notice

• You need quiet time to yourself to read, think, or write on most days.
• You're focused on getting things done, which doesn't always allow enough spontaneity in your life.

Ok, I am not going to comment on all of this, that’s what I want you to do. But I do think that most of this holds true for me. I did find one last really true to life point:
You may notice you’re cautious and may need to be pushed to take more risks in life.
Case in point this dating profile online! Thanks, Sweetie Pie!

-Larry

Hello again, a fairly uneventful day for me, slept most of the day, which was knida’ nice. Only woke up a couple of times, which is to be expected. But all in all I got about 10 good hours of sleep. Don’t really have a lot to talk about as far as the days events because of that but I am going to take a few minutes to rant on a pet peeve I have.

"Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure."
-Joseph Sugarman

I found this quote online when I started thinking about what to write. I really liked it I think that it holds true, as I am sure we all have experienced when you tell a lie it seems that something bad usually comes of it. I was burned by a really good friend a while back on this issue of honesty. She told me a lie which I in turn trusted and was made to look like a complete ass in front of another friend. Needless to say when I found out I was pissed. It really takes a lot to get me really ticked off and this happens to be one of those things that will do it almost instantly. We have since worked past this issue and I made my feelings clearly known to her. As a matter of fact it was the maddest I think I have ever been with any one person. What pissed me off was not that she made me look like an ass but that she had abused the trust I had developed or given to her. Now, I can’t sit here and tell you that I have never told a lie. We have all told little “white” lies in some situation or another. I think that these lies are, I am hesitant to say acceptable, sometimes necessary, be it not to hurt someone’s feelings or get yourself out of a semi sticky situation. However, I do feel that if someone is truly a friend then these “white” lies are not necessary. My personal belief is that these “white” lies can cause more damage if they are exposed if they were told to a friend. Now this kinda’ contradicts my pervious statement as to their usefulness but you should be honest with friends even if it is likely to hurt a feeling or two. We have all been faced with the question “What do you think about …?”. These kind of questions leave us in a predicament and from a guys stand point the correct answer may not really exist. But no matter the circumstance, be it you disapprove of something they are doing, don’t want to do something they are doing, leading them to believe a common interest or whatever friends should have that trust. True friends will over come this minor irritation of a hurt feeling in a very short time. However, should this lie be exposed, you will have more than the hurt feeling you were trying to protect you will also stand the chance of damaging the respect and trust the person has or had for you. That is something that is very difficult to get over or return with just a small period of time. I personally suck at telling a lie, anyone who spends any amount of time around me will realize that this is the case. I am however quick to hand out my trust, which is maybe something I should work on. But, I do not feel that a relationship, friendship or otherwise, can be healthy with out an enormous amount of trust. Which brings me I guess to my closing comments. How do you tell if someone is lying to you or has told you a lie? You could I suppose always do the full frontal assault and outright ask them. Sometimes this method is effective but, it could go two ways very quickly. The first could go bad and get very ugly. You have to be certain that someone has lied and have substantial proof that it has occurred. If you go into this assault unarmed you could ruin a relationship almost instantly. The other possibility is another lie. If you are confident in your claim that this person is has lied to you and are then feed another lie like “I never said that” then the snow ball starts to roll. You could always take the inquisitive approach and ask direct questions concerning the circumstances of the lie. Sometimes this is useful if you are dealing with a truly honest person but this is also a way to get the snow ball really going. The snow ball could roll or the person could finally breakdown and tell you the truth. Which I suppose the easiest way is for the person to be honest with you and outright admit their transgression. In any case there is some degree of healing that must occur in a relationship and this amount will be determined by the severity of the lie and the events that surround it. I will leave you with these thoughts of mine (can you tell this is a big issue for me). Until next time.

-Larry

Well another day has come and gone. I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday. I went to see a concert, Evanescence. Needless to say it was awesome. The concert started at 7:00p.m.; however it was about 5:00 a.m. when I finally got to bed. This was definitely a deviation from my normal mundane routine. Like I said the concert was great a little different from concerts I have been to in the past and surprisingly a very large ‘adult’ populous. I expected a lot of younger people, younger than me anyways, but looking around most of the people were my age bracket or even older. Anyways, after the concert I went, kicking and screaming, to a bar in downtown Orlando. Reluctant to admit it I actually had a good time. I even worked on some of my “socialization” skills. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was attempt at change, in any case I did it. Another friend was suppose to go with us but had to cancel at the last minute. This didn’t bother me except for the fact that I know they were really looking forward to going, maybe next time. Well, after was all said and done, and I had recovered enough to begin the long drive back home. After passing out I woke a mere 5 hours latter to begin my day at school. You have got to love how the stress level rises as the end of the semester approaches. Then off to sleep and then here to begin my long day or should I say night. I have finally just broke the half way point and still doing pretty good. Yesterday was a nice escape.

We all have things that come up in our lives and have to deal with those before we can continue with our lives, how we deal with this is a different as each of us are. Some of us can talk to certain people while some of us can talk to very few, or don’t talk at all. Having these outlets allows us to maintain a “normal” life. Most of us have a select group of friends that we would trust with our deepest darkest secrets. It is interesting too that we will choose certain people within in our ring to discuss certain topics. Although sometimes difficult to discuss with other people sometime it is helpful to talk to other people, as hard as that sometimes is. I find it interesting that others have artistic ways of dealing with problems such as writing, in verse, stories, or song. I am not really sure how to close this, but I will say this. I hope each of us can develop an effective means for dealing with our own issues.

- Larry

Ok, I finally broke down and started a blog. I guess this just adds something else to my list of projects to keep up with. At least this one does not have a due date. I am really not sure why I caved in on creating one of these things. I really don't like to write recreationally, but I guess it will give me some place to express my thoughts only I get to hear. For many of you these thoughts will not make sense, part of the reason I called the blog "My ramblings...". For others of you my life has nothing to offer compared to yours but hopefully you can find some insight or at least get a good laugh out of it. I will also warn you that some of this might seem boring to the majority of readers, but with the help of a friend I have realized that my life is not that boring. Sharing it with people that can appreciate where you are coming from is the key! With that in mind, let the blogging begin.

My thoughts for today...
I had a really interesting conversation with a friend today. Several things were put into perspective or should I say brought to light. I have thanked this friend for what they did for me because I have always been the listening ear never really the one who gets to talk. Although I did not express much communication with my friend I hope that this will serve the purpose. A major point that I am tiring to cope with is our security pocket we create for our selves. Our inability to step outside of this pocket holds most of us down myself included. But I question is it our inability to step out or our unwillingness. This is something I have been pondering at great length for the last couple of hours. As much as I would like to admit that I have the inability to overcome that boundary I have to think is just because I don't want to. We talk about change and the good things that can come from change which I completely agree with. But how do we effect the correct change in order to change our flaws or weaknesses. I will borrow a quote from my friend for a minute "Change sets us free. B.R.B.". Once again I can totally see the logic behind this phrase; the problem is identifying the specifics that we need to change in our lives. I can see some of the problems but how do I change them? How do you change a total mindset?

Ok, that was really deep for my first blog, but it has got me thinking maybe you too. I wouldn't be surprised to see more on this at a latter point. Until next time, thanks for listening.