Pet peeve
Hello again, a fairly uneventful day for me, slept most of the day, which was knida’ nice. Only woke up a couple of times, which is to be expected. But all in all I got about 10 good hours of sleep. Don’t really have a lot to talk about as far as the days events because of that but I am going to take a few minutes to rant on a pet peeve I have.
"Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure."
-Joseph Sugarman
I found this quote online when I started thinking about what to write. I really liked it I think that it holds true, as I am sure we all have experienced when you tell a lie it seems that something bad usually comes of it. I was burned by a really good friend a while back on this issue of honesty. She told me a lie which I in turn trusted and was made to look like a complete ass in front of another friend. Needless to say when I found out I was pissed. It really takes a lot to get me really ticked off and this happens to be one of those things that will do it almost instantly. We have since worked past this issue and I made my feelings clearly known to her. As a matter of fact it was the maddest I think I have ever been with any one person. What pissed me off was not that she made me look like an ass but that she had abused the trust I had developed or given to her. Now, I can’t sit here and tell you that I have never told a lie. We have all told little “white” lies in some situation or another. I think that these lies are, I am hesitant to say acceptable, sometimes necessary, be it not to hurt someone’s feelings or get yourself out of a semi sticky situation. However, I do feel that if someone is truly a friend then these “white” lies are not necessary. My personal belief is that these “white” lies can cause more damage if they are exposed if they were told to a friend. Now this kinda’ contradicts my pervious statement as to their usefulness but you should be honest with friends even if it is likely to hurt a feeling or two. We have all been faced with the question “What do you think about …?”. These kind of questions leave us in a predicament and from a guys stand point the correct answer may not really exist. But no matter the circumstance, be it you disapprove of something they are doing, don’t want to do something they are doing, leading them to believe a common interest or whatever friends should have that trust. True friends will over come this minor irritation of a hurt feeling in a very short time. However, should this lie be exposed, you will have more than the hurt feeling you were trying to protect you will also stand the chance of damaging the respect and trust the person has or had for you. That is something that is very difficult to get over or return with just a small period of time. I personally suck at telling a lie, anyone who spends any amount of time around me will realize that this is the case. I am however quick to hand out my trust, which is maybe something I should work on. But, I do not feel that a relationship, friendship or otherwise, can be healthy with out an enormous amount of trust. Which brings me I guess to my closing comments. How do you tell if someone is lying to you or has told you a lie? You could I suppose always do the full frontal assault and outright ask them. Sometimes this method is effective but, it could go two ways very quickly. The first could go bad and get very ugly. You have to be certain that someone has lied and have substantial proof that it has occurred. If you go into this assault unarmed you could ruin a relationship almost instantly. The other possibility is another lie. If you are confident in your claim that this person is has lied to you and are then feed another lie like “I never said that” then the snow ball starts to roll. You could always take the inquisitive approach and ask direct questions concerning the circumstances of the lie. Sometimes this is useful if you are dealing with a truly honest person but this is also a way to get the snow ball really going. The snow ball could roll or the person could finally breakdown and tell you the truth. Which I suppose the easiest way is for the person to be honest with you and outright admit their transgression. In any case there is some degree of healing that must occur in a relationship and this amount will be determined by the severity of the lie and the events that surround it. I will leave you with these thoughts of mine (can you tell this is a big issue for me). Until next time.
-Larry
"Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure."
-Joseph Sugarman
I found this quote online when I started thinking about what to write. I really liked it I think that it holds true, as I am sure we all have experienced when you tell a lie it seems that something bad usually comes of it. I was burned by a really good friend a while back on this issue of honesty. She told me a lie which I in turn trusted and was made to look like a complete ass in front of another friend. Needless to say when I found out I was pissed. It really takes a lot to get me really ticked off and this happens to be one of those things that will do it almost instantly. We have since worked past this issue and I made my feelings clearly known to her. As a matter of fact it was the maddest I think I have ever been with any one person. What pissed me off was not that she made me look like an ass but that she had abused the trust I had developed or given to her. Now, I can’t sit here and tell you that I have never told a lie. We have all told little “white” lies in some situation or another. I think that these lies are, I am hesitant to say acceptable, sometimes necessary, be it not to hurt someone’s feelings or get yourself out of a semi sticky situation. However, I do feel that if someone is truly a friend then these “white” lies are not necessary. My personal belief is that these “white” lies can cause more damage if they are exposed if they were told to a friend. Now this kinda’ contradicts my pervious statement as to their usefulness but you should be honest with friends even if it is likely to hurt a feeling or two. We have all been faced with the question “What do you think about …?”. These kind of questions leave us in a predicament and from a guys stand point the correct answer may not really exist. But no matter the circumstance, be it you disapprove of something they are doing, don’t want to do something they are doing, leading them to believe a common interest or whatever friends should have that trust. True friends will over come this minor irritation of a hurt feeling in a very short time. However, should this lie be exposed, you will have more than the hurt feeling you were trying to protect you will also stand the chance of damaging the respect and trust the person has or had for you. That is something that is very difficult to get over or return with just a small period of time. I personally suck at telling a lie, anyone who spends any amount of time around me will realize that this is the case. I am however quick to hand out my trust, which is maybe something I should work on. But, I do not feel that a relationship, friendship or otherwise, can be healthy with out an enormous amount of trust. Which brings me I guess to my closing comments. How do you tell if someone is lying to you or has told you a lie? You could I suppose always do the full frontal assault and outright ask them. Sometimes this method is effective but, it could go two ways very quickly. The first could go bad and get very ugly. You have to be certain that someone has lied and have substantial proof that it has occurred. If you go into this assault unarmed you could ruin a relationship almost instantly. The other possibility is another lie. If you are confident in your claim that this person is has lied to you and are then feed another lie like “I never said that” then the snow ball starts to roll. You could always take the inquisitive approach and ask direct questions concerning the circumstances of the lie. Sometimes this is useful if you are dealing with a truly honest person but this is also a way to get the snow ball really going. The snow ball could roll or the person could finally breakdown and tell you the truth. Which I suppose the easiest way is for the person to be honest with you and outright admit their transgression. In any case there is some degree of healing that must occur in a relationship and this amount will be determined by the severity of the lie and the events that surround it. I will leave you with these thoughts of mine (can you tell this is a big issue for me). Until next time.
-Larry
| 20:49 
Wow, that was really deep. I had no idea you could talk on one subject so indepth, and so lengthy. I am really glad that you started this blog. With your new schedule, I feel like we have grown apart. This is a new way to keep in touch, with out having to talk on the phone. I think I am learning more about you in this way anyhow, probably because I can't interupt... :) LOL
Posted by
shes_a_sprite |
July 29, 2004 9:37 PM