Blah!
Blah!It has been one of those days. I don't have many days that I am in a depressed state; typically I am upbeat and very optimistic. Today has been one of those exceptions. When I get like this there is very little that will bring me out of it. I still haven't figured out what brought it on, perhaps tomorrow will be better. I went and met Erika in town for dinner. Dinner sucked but the conversation was good as usual. We did talk about me and Aereal and where that is going or isn't going. Theories have been confirmed and speculations squashed. The one theory I posted about her being scared is partially correct. She did have a good time and thoroughly enjoyed the evening, but is hesitant to have a second date for fear of having too good of a time. She is also still trying to figure out what she wants out of life. I have been told that she is still in the rebound phase, perhaps this is also true. She did come out of a relationship that was serious and is at this point trying to meet new people and new personalities. I have no problem with this and would encourage her to do that, but I don't think I want to be one of her test subjects while she tries to figure out what kind of guy she wants to date. Now, I am not looking to tie someone down at this point, I don't want marriage or kids at this point in my life. Is it something I want in the future, yes, but right now I do not have the time to commit to something as major as the above mentioned topics. She is interested in dating me, but she is also interested in dating other people at the same time. I don't have a problem with it; people do this all the time. I just don't want to be one of those people. If I am going to date you, you will be the only one I date. If she wants to see other people then more power to her, she needs to experience life since she lost a big chunk of hers early on. So, if she thinks that she will become attached to me and that is not what she wants then she doesn't need to call me back. According to her sister she has been out with three different kinds of guys, type 1) the party type. The guy that most chicks fall for anyways, but with no worries loves the night life, lives just to have a good time the hell with responsibility. Type 2) the guy that is ready to settle down, have kids and get the family life started now. This of course would scare her away with out any second thought as it would most women. Type 3) this is the category I fall into. The kind of guy that is a mix of both type 1 and 2. I have the ability to have fun yet retain enough responsibility that life continues. She told Erika that she wants to date me but doesn't want to like me. Doesn't sound like it makes a lot of sense but if you go back to that theory that she doesn't want to get involved with someone on an emotionally committed relationship then it does. Once again one of the many complex and complicated facets of women. Armed with this information I have decided that I really don't care if she calls me again or not. That sounds kinda' mean because I did have a great time but it is something I have resolved. I had made this decision on my last post, but it is now concrete. If she decides that she wants to see me and see me solely then perhaps I will give it a second try, but as it stands I am not sure I would even go on a second date. Perhaps my feelings have been hurt, but I really don't think so. It has been confirmed that she had a good time and would love to do it again, so as far as I am concerned mission accomplished. There are very few guys like me out there (at least that is what I am told), so long as I know that I held up my end of the bargain and she enjoyed the evening then I am satisfied. It is now up to her to decide if she wants to continue dating me. Poor Erika, I think that she wanted to stay out of the middle of this but she can't. We talked extensively about this and I told her my feelings and opinions. She said that she would take the relationship information and the fact that I am interested but want to me involved in a monogamous relationship. I guess I will find out more in the next couple of days. Don't worry you guys will be able to read all about it right here. Till then...
- Larry
- Larry
| 01:14 
