My ramblings...

Friday has finally come. This is the conclusion of my first week back to school and work since break. I do have to work this weekend which I am not looking forward to but I need to get paid therefore I need to work. I sat down yesterday to work on my homework, more specifically my programming homework and spent most of the day staring at a blank computer screen. I suppose I will try again today, being out of the doing homework every week think I feel I may have lost my edge I had just developed. I will probably regain it about the time the semester ends. The countdown has begun and I only have 48 more days until my last final and only 18 (I think) are actual class days. Wow, that is kinda’ surprising. I started looking at my summer and fall schedules the other day. I haven’t decided/figured out if I can take two classes over the summer or not. I have to watch my classes as I have several still to take that require massive amounts of time outside of class. I really hate making new schedules ever semester, it becomes a royal pain in the ass when you have been doing it for the last…. 6 years.

I wish I had some drama to update you all on. Recent post of friends have reveled several rants and dramatizations. I have or at least don’t consider the things I have noteworthy. I seem to live a fairly simple life and let very few items bother me. The thing that bothers me the most of recent is work. But, since most of my readers are co-workers I refuse to delve down that path as I am sure none of you want to hear about the crap that comes from there. Those of you I work with know what I am talking about and I am not specifically referring to any of my readers.

What else could I tell you about, I am trying to come up with stuff to talk about as I still have over half and hour before my next class starts. My tech writing class is very laid back and well we canceled class again today. I probably would not have came to class anyways but I am trying not to be negative about coming to school and have tried very hard not to, shall I call it, whine about coming to class.

My roommate/best friend is going through some changes, I am not going to get into detail on this as it is her story to tell. I will comment on her bangs. I love them! While talking over dinner last night we discussed several ideas for change. One that applied to me was my people skills/shyness. This is something that seems to be a big barrier in my life and I have been trying slowly to work around it and become more open. I have on several occasions held conversations with members of the opposite sex. Some of them have been forced socializations like my tech writing group, but even those situations are difficult for me. I have walked and talked with one of my other classmates back to the main part of campus while engaging in conversation. Closer to home, there are several attractive females that live in the same building as me. One of which happens to be the manager of the complex. While walking Draco the other day I finally got to met another one. Her name is Lisa (aka the Bug lady, she drives an old cherry red VW Bug), I conversed with Lisa for a few minutes mostly the formalities but she was applying Rainx to her windshield so that gave me something else to talk to her about. We said our good byes and I brought Draco in. Well Heather tells me the other night that she talked to Lisa again, this time my name was mentioned. Although the mention was short (at least from the story I was told) it was still a mention about I seemed like a nice guy. Ok, I could go off on a tangent about the whole nice guy thing and the fact that my chances now are slim to none, but I will refrain. I think I have walked that path before. Well I was presented with an opportunity to speak to her again yesterday and completely let it pass by me. It was not long after I woke up that I started working on my homework. I was still kinda’ in that blah state and I went out to get my backpack out of the car. While on my way back she came ridding up on her bicycle as to park it. She passed by me, I smiled and nodded, and she smiled back. I then proceed into the apartment and didn’t say another word. After I closed the door I commented to myself (out loud) ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’. I hope she did not hear me as the tie-down she uses is not far from our door and I was still standing the with the door knob in my hand. I am not sure why I did not speak, I know I really wasn’t up for conversation especially conversation with a stranger. I need to figure out how to pull my head out of my ass and start talking to people. If any of you are willing to help pull on my shoulders I would appreciate it. Every once in a while I will come out and take a breather and do something crazy like dance or actually talk to someone. But, those situations are so few and far between that I have almost suffocated myself by the time they occur. If I were into the club scene perhaps I would go more often, like tonight. I really don’t think the club is a great place to meet people but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to start there. Instead I think I will sit at home and do my homework that I could work on at any other point this weekend. I have a massive task ahead if I plan on fixing/overcoming this, if I ever do.

I think that is enough for now. It is getting close to class time anyways. I have more to say on different topics but really don’t feel like typing anymore here. Perhaps that is what I will do instead of homework!

- Larry