Wednesday, 10/27
I guess it is about time I update, got several things to talk about nothing major but updates with me and Aereal. So we went to Busch Gardens on Saturday, I personally wasn’t impressed with the park itself, but we still managed to have a good time. We went into several houses and the last one was the best but still very predictable. The scare zones had little to offer, but we did get to ride several of the coasters. All in all it turned out to be a good night. We were suppose to watch the lunar eclipse together tonight (technically) however she had to cancel on me. I guess something has come up, but there is still the possibility so that will have to wait for another entry.
I guess I really need to work on my ‘bad’ image and let it emerge more often. I am not sure how to let this happen, but I need to figure it out. I guess I appear too perfect, which is far from the truth. I am not sure how to describe this or exactly what has been said that leads me to this. I was communicating with her in email earlier, she sent out a pic that she drew and I commented that she had more patience than I did and that she did a great job. Well her reply, "You are sooo sweet! Don't let me corrupt you too much!". Ok, we all know that Larry is no angel, it doesn’t happen often but I can be an ass and well a typical guy! I am going to have to work on taking some of the polish off. Maybe put a few chips in the surface, it just isn’t natural for me. I know that I am not perfect, I know that I can be a typical guy, but how do I bring that out while on dates. I guess the first couple of dates were supposed to be polished and on my best behavior, but how do I show her that is not me all the time. I seem to lack spontaneity and forwardness at times. Case in point and she pointed this out, kissing, holding hands, basic signs of affection, I initiate very few of this items. As bad as that sounds it seems to be the truth, I am getting better, and I really can’t believe I am typing this for all of you to read. I suppose this all goes back to my lack of relationships and involvement with females outside of plutonic relationships. Perhaps that is also a problem, I have been involved in so many of these friendships that I have learned the desires of women and have perhaps subconsciously adapted to this. Granted a lot of my ideals have remained with me from childhood but maybe I have learned too many qualities of the "ideal" man. I really have no idea at this point, but I have to be come less innocent!
I really didn’t plan on writing that much, and really didn’t plan on writing what I did. I am going to close now that I am done analyzing myself and writing one of the most personal/deep blogs in a very long time if ever.
- Larry
I guess I really need to work on my ‘bad’ image and let it emerge more often. I am not sure how to let this happen, but I need to figure it out. I guess I appear too perfect, which is far from the truth. I am not sure how to describe this or exactly what has been said that leads me to this. I was communicating with her in email earlier, she sent out a pic that she drew and I commented that she had more patience than I did and that she did a great job. Well her reply, "You are sooo sweet! Don't let me corrupt you too much!". Ok, we all know that Larry is no angel, it doesn’t happen often but I can be an ass and well a typical guy! I am going to have to work on taking some of the polish off. Maybe put a few chips in the surface, it just isn’t natural for me. I know that I am not perfect, I know that I can be a typical guy, but how do I bring that out while on dates. I guess the first couple of dates were supposed to be polished and on my best behavior, but how do I show her that is not me all the time. I seem to lack spontaneity and forwardness at times. Case in point and she pointed this out, kissing, holding hands, basic signs of affection, I initiate very few of this items. As bad as that sounds it seems to be the truth, I am getting better, and I really can’t believe I am typing this for all of you to read. I suppose this all goes back to my lack of relationships and involvement with females outside of plutonic relationships. Perhaps that is also a problem, I have been involved in so many of these friendships that I have learned the desires of women and have perhaps subconsciously adapted to this. Granted a lot of my ideals have remained with me from childhood but maybe I have learned too many qualities of the "ideal" man. I really have no idea at this point, but I have to be come less innocent!
I really didn’t plan on writing that much, and really didn’t plan on writing what I did. I am going to close now that I am done analyzing myself and writing one of the most personal/deep blogs in a very long time if ever.
- Larry
| 07:24 
FROM: Nasr69
Larry I hate to tell ya this.... you are a Saint..good guy! And that sets you apart from the rest.....!I hope things go well!!
Andra
Posted by
Anonymous |
October 27, 2004 11:12 PM